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“I believe in the one above. Not the ones below.”
That’s what my grandmother used to say.
She never set foot in a church. She didn’t quote scripture. But she believed—deeply—in something beyond her. She called it “The one above”. A quiet force she trusted, especially when life made no sense.
For years, I dismissed that idea. I believed in control. Goals. Planning. Owning your destiny.
But then life taught me what she already knew.
The illusion of control
We grow up believing we’re in charge.
Set goals. Hustle hard. Make it happen.
And if you fail, you just didn’t want it bad enough.
But that story starts to crack.
You succeed when you least expect it.
You fail despite doing everything right.
Thoughts show up uninvited. Emotions hijack you without warning.
That’s when I found Sam Harris.
“Free will is an illusion. You can do what you want. But you can’t want what you want.”
You didn’t choose your genetics. Your upbringing. Even your desires.
You don’t control the thoughts that appear in your mind.
You are not the author—you’re the witness.
That idea changes everything.
If you’re not fully in control, then maybe… you’re not in charge.
And that’s where the idea of God clicked for me.
Not as a person. As a principle.
The name we give to everything beyond us.
Where your control ends—God begins.
Do everything. Expect nothing
So what now? If I don’t control the outcome, should I just stop trying?
That’s the false binary.
The truth is subtler—and more powerful.
It’s called agency.
Not the power to control everything.
The power to act anyway.
The Stoics lived in that space. Marcus Aurelius wrote:
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
You don’t control what happens. But you control how you show up.
Stoics call it Amor Fati: love your fate.
Not tolerate it. Not resent it. Love it.
Give your full effort.
Then let go completely.
Nietzsche called it “the formula for greatness.” Not because it makes life easier—but because it makes you unshakeable.
There’s a story about Cleanthes, a Stoic philosopher: Even in old age, he earned his living hauling water at night. A man mocked him: “You’re too wise to be doing that.”
Cleanthes replied:
“If I cannot bend fate, I will adjust my sails to it.”
That’s the posture.
You don’t command the wind.
You adjust your sails.
Michael Singer calls this surrender:
“Let go of the part of you that needs to control—and you’ll be free.”
Surrender isn’t quitting.
It’s doing your part—and releasing the rest.
Where God lives
Once you stop grasping for control, fear fades.
You don’t need to guarantee the future. You don’t need to rewrite the past.
You just do what’s yours to do—and breathe.
You return to the only place where life ever happens: now.
That’s where God lives.
Not in temples. Not in rituals.
In the radical peace of presence.
In the quiet truth that you are not the center—and you don’t have to be.
“Enlightenment is intimacy with all things.” Dōgen (Zen Buddhism)
God Exists
I believe in the one above.
Not as a man in the sky. Not as superstition.
As a truth: I am not in charge.
And that changes everything.
It kills ego.
It kills fear.
It invites peace.
And it brings me, finally, into the present.
God exists. And that doesn’t make me less free.
It makes me free at last.
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